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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28817769">I held the world in my arms....recently.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zo_123/pseuds/Zo_123'>Zo_123</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago Fire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff, post 9x03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:12:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,624</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28817769</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zo_123/pseuds/Zo_123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 9x03.<br/>Matt and Sylvie struggle to move on from each other.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>161</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Missing you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first post! I couldn't wait for as long as it will take for the series to finally let Matt and Sylvie be happy so I decided to write my own version of them finding their way back to each other.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Matt was grabbing a couple of beers out the fridge, Kelly's phone on the counter behind him started to ring. </p>
<p>"Head's up - Stella's calling" Matt said as he threw the phone across the room. </p>
<p>Kelly caught it one handed and clicked to answer. "Hey babe what's up?"</p>
<p>Matt set Kelly's beer on the table, sat down beside him and took a long gulp of his own. </p>
<p>"Brett's what?!" Kelly said shocked, but with a hint of amusement.</p>
<p>"Pffffft" Matt choked on his beer. "What's wrong with Sylvie?" he stumbled to get the words out between coughs.</p>
<p>Kelly held up a hand to silence him so he could hear. "Sure, I'll be there in 10 minutes. She's ok man, calm down." Matt's eyes looked like they were screaming.</p>
<p>"She's had a little too much to drink and she's literally passed out at the bar. Stella says she needs carried out of there. I said I'd..."</p>
<p>Matt was already on his feet pocketing his keys.</p>
<p>"...take her home."</p>
<p>"I'll do it."</p>
<p>Kelly let out a sigh. "Are you sure that's a good idea, man? I thought you decided to give her space".</p>
<p>"It's been two weeks and it's torture. I miss her. She was supposed to be on a date tonight with Greg anyway and now she's unconscious at a bar. She's still my friend and<br/>I'm worried about her."</p>
<p>Kelly held up his hands in defeat. "Ok ok, go do your thing." Kelly chuckled to himself. His friend had it bad. "But I want you to tell Stella that I put up a hell of a fight."</p>
<p>Matt punched him playfully on the shoulder. "Yeah yeah."</p>
<p>It was a short drive down to Molly's and Matt yanked open the door with a little too much force than necessary. It wasn't busy and he spotted Sylvie straight away down at the other end of the room. She really was literally passed out at the bar, her head resting on a folded bar towel for a pillow. She looked so peaceful. Matt was practically jogging to get to her when Stella leaned over and grabbed his shoulder from the other side of the bar.</p>
<p>"Hey - what are you doing here? I called Kelly to get her."</p>
<p>"I know but I said I'd take her home. Oh - Kelly said to tell you that he put up a good fight." Stella laughed then sighed, a cross between pity and understanding written all across her face. </p>
<p>"How did she get in a state like this anyway - I thought she was meant to be on a date tonight?" </p>
<p>"Well..." Stella stopped talking and looked over to Sylvie and then back to Matt, clearly torn about whether to spill or not. She knew Matt's concern for her was genuine. She also knew they were both idiots and should be together.</p>
<p>"Kidd. Tell me. Now." Matt used his Captain's voice hoping that would persuade her.</p>
<p>It worked. "Fine! But not a word to Sylvie."</p>
<p>"I'm listening."</p>
<p>"She was on a date with Greg and half way through it he tried to kiss her." Stella seemed to put a lot of emphasis on the word tried. </p>
<p>The thought of Sylvie kissing someone else made Matt's insides squirm. "Did they kiss?" The question had rolled off his tongue before he could stop himself. What was he, twelve?</p>
<p>"No.... She wouldn't let him.... Or more like couldn't let him" she said cryptically. </p>
<p>Matt needed to know everything, no longer caring. Stella knew how he felt about Sylvie anyway, she'd got to witness the 'jumping from the moving truck incident' first hand. "Why not?" he asked urgently.</p>
<p>"Because he's not you, you idiot!!" Stella shouted exasperated. A few heads in the bar turned to look at them. Why are men so thick. "She made her excuses, came here and hit the tequila shots. Yeah what can I get you" Stella turned away from him to serve a customer. Matt's heart gave a small flutter as he turned to look at the girl who'd been occupying his mind for so long.</p>
<p>He walked over to Sylvie and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. No response. Matt chuckled and squeezed a little firmer, whispering her name in her ear. All he got was a slight groan. Yep...she wasn't walking out of here. Matt gently lifted her head from the bar and wrapped one of her arms around his neck. With one arm around her waist and one under her knees he gently picked her up, cradling her in his arms. He stood still for a moment to see if she'd wake. Her head was resting against his neck and Matt could feel her warm, steady breaths on his skin. She was out for the count.</p>
<p>Stella caught Matt's eye and she waved Sylvie's purse from behind the bar. "Her keys are inside. Get her home safe."</p>
<p>"Thanks Kidd, can you help me get her outside?" </p>
<p>"Sure, just a sec." Stella called through to the back room. "Herrmann, watch the bar. I'm just helping Matt get Sylvie to his truck."</p>
<p>"Sure thing. Tell sleeping beauty goodnight from me."</p>
<p>Matt kept glancing over at Sylvie the whole ride to her apartment but she didn't wake. Once they'd arrived Matt got out of his truck and opened her purse for her keys, hooking them on his finger. He slung her purse over his shoulder and made his way round to the passenger side. Opening the door, he couldn't stop himself from taking a moment to look at her. He really had missed her so much the last couple of weeks. She had the most beautiful blue eyes, currently obscured by long lashes fanning her pink cheeks. She was perfect, inside and out. He unbuckled her seat belt and for the second time that evening, cradled her in his arms. He kicked the passenger door shut with his heel and carried Sylvie to her building. Holding her so close again, he couldn't help the smile that crept across his lips. If only she was conscious...and actually wanted to be in his arms Matt thought wryly. If only he knew how much that were true.</p>
<p>Once inside her apartment he lay Sylvie gently down on her couch. The vision of the last time they were here flashed across Matt's mind and his face contorted with the pain of the memory, effectively erasing the first smile on his face in weeks. He'd give anything to go back to that night.</p>
<p>"I don't know."</p>
<p>He could hear Sylvie's heart breaking after he said those words. The only thing worse than seeing her in pain was knowing that he was the one who caused it. Sylvie had endured so much the last few months and Matt had been there through it all. He loved that she let him in, they had such an open and honest friendship. They trusted each other completely. Then he blew it. Of course she tried to blame it all on herself, she was selfless to a fault.</p>
<p>Matt tore his eyes away from her and headed to her bedroom. He switched on the bedside lamp and pulled back the covers of her bed, the familiar flowery scent of her washing powder wafting across his face. Matt headed back to the couch and crouched at Sylvie's feet, removing her shoes. He picked her up for the third and final time and carried her to her bedroom, laying her down. A soft sigh escaped her lips but she still did not wake. Matt rolled her gently on to her side and tucked the covers tight around her. He should leave, but he was worried that she might vomit in her sleep. He'd seen Sylvie Brett drunk on multiple occasions but never as bad as this. Deep down he knew he wasn't going to leave her alone tonight, he'd made that decision long before they'd arrived at her apartment. </p>
<p>Matt went to the kitchen and filled a glass of water, grabbed a basin from under the sink and one of the kitchen chairs and headed back to Sylvie's bedroom. He placed <br/>the glass on her bedside table, put the basin beside the bed and settled in the chair. </p>
<p>It scared him a little just how content he was watching her sleep. He didn't know how much time had passed when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was Stella. </p>
<p>Where are you? Is Sylvie ok? </p>
<p>Stella must have arrived back at the loft and noticed Matt's absence.</p>
<p>All good. I'm staying here. She's still unconscious and it looks like she might vomit. </p>
<p>A smirk emoji was her only response. Matt threw his head back and rolled his eyes. Stella saw right through him.  </p>
<p>A low moan escaped Sylvie's lips and Matt's head snapped back in her direction. Sylvie sighed once more and then it was back to steady, even breaths. After a short while longer, Matt's eyelids started to feel heavy... </p>
<p>***************</p>
<p>Sylvie's head was pounding. She opened her eyes slowly, her vision blurry. As her eyes slowly began to focus, she came face to face with a pair of knees.</p>
<p>"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... "</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Realisations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's the morning after and Sylvie thinks she has an intruder.<br/>Stella doesn't hold back and gives Matt some home truths.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who left kudos and comments on chapter 1. I found this website recently by accident and I've never written anything before now. I was really nervous about posting it so thank you again and on to chapter 2...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"WHAT THE - WOAH-AAHH!!  Matt toppled backwards and he and the kitchen chair crashed in a crumpled heap onto the wooden floor. "Sylvie, it's ok it's ok. It's just me!" </p><p>"MATT what the hell are you doing in my bedroom? What the hell am I doing in my bedroom?" Sylvie seemed to direct the second question to herself, clearly confused about the previous night's events. "How did I get he- oh-oh God." One hand flew to Sylvie's mouth while the other frantically tried to disentangle herself from the duvet. Matt had tucked her in tight so she wouldn't roll on her back through the night. </p><p>Lucky for her Matt Casey has fast reflexes. He flipped onto his knees and grabbed the basin by her bed, lifting it up to her face. She gripped it with both hands as Matt swiftly stood up out of the firing line and scooped her hair back. Last night's tequila unceremoniously made it's way back up her throat. Matt sat down on the bed beside her, taking her hair into one hand while rubbing slow, soothing circles on her back with the other. </p><p>After a couple of minutes, the vomiting ceased and Sylvie took several shallow, gasping breaths. Matt continued to rub her back until she started to breathe slower and deeper. He tilted his head to look at her face, it was pale and clammy and her eyes were closed tight. Even hungover to hell, she was still beautiful. Matt reached for the water on her bedside table.</p><p>"Here, take this" he said softly. "Rinse round your mouth and spit." Sylvie opened her eyes and did as she was told. A shaky, breathy "thank you" was all she could manage. </p><p>"Do you think you're finished?" Sylvie nodded, her face screwing up at the basin in front of her. Reading her thoughts, Matt reached for basin and Sylvie opened her mouth to protest. </p><p>"Let go" he said firmly. Sylvie was too weak to argue and she really wanted it away from her. She watched as Matt headed to her bathroom and closed the door behind him. Matt didn't appear for a few minutes and she wondered what he was up to. She silently prayed she hadn't left any underwear lying around. </p><p>Matt re-emerged holding her loaded toothbrush and offered it to her. </p><p>"Thank you", Sylvie popped it in her mouth and the taste of mint was a welcome relief. </p><p>"I've rinsed out the basin and left it soaking in some nice smelling bubble bath. I'll go and get you a fresh glass of water." Matt left the room and Sylvie made her way groggily to the bathroom. When Matt returned from the kitchen, he knocked on her door before re-entering. Ever the gentleman.</p><p>"You can come in" Sylvie called from the bathroom, finishing brushing her teeth. Sylvie walked back into the room and towards Matt's outstretched hand. </p><p>"Here's your water." As she took the glass from him, her fingers brushed his causing an electric shock to jolt through his body. Sylvie's eyes flashed for a second and he could have sworn she had felt the same sensation. </p><p>"I think I had too much to drink last night". </p><p>Matt laughed. "Just a little". </p><p>"Matt." The smile faded from his face. He knew that tone and he couldn't help flinching at the sound. It was the same tone she'd used in his office, right before asking him for space. </p><p>"I know, I know." Matt picked up his jacket and the overturned chair from the floor and put it on.</p><p>"I appreciate you taking care of me, it's just..." she tailed off. Of all the people to see her like this, Matt Casey was the last on her list. That wasn't the only reason she wanted him away from her. The worst way to miss someone was to be standing right beside them, knowing you can't have them. Matt Casey standing in her bedroom of all places was sheer torture. </p><p>Matt held his hands up. "I got it. I'll leave now I know you're ok. It was nice spending time with you again, unconscious or not" he tried to keep it light. Then failed miserably with his next sentence. "I've missed you".  Matt turned his back to her, hiding the pain in his eyes but it was there in his voice. He didn't wait for Sylvie to respond before continuing "I've never seen you get like that before Sylvie, you scared me a little." </p><p>Sylvie let out a giant sigh. She didn't need a lecture. "I know it was stupid. Tequila is not the answer" she laughed darkly and without a trace of humour. Neither is going on a date with someone when you're still clearly in love with someone else Sylvie thought.</p><p>"No-one is worth getting into that much of a state over. Especially not me."</p><p>Was she that obvious Sylvie thought. He couldn't see the pensive look she was giving him. He continued to talk with his back to her as he walked towards the bedroom door, unable to bring himself to meet her eyes. "Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. Make sure you try and eat something. I'll see you next shift". He hurriedly walked out the door without looking back or waiting for an answer.</p><p>Sylvie sat still on her bed for a few moments, waiting for the sound of him leaving through the front door. She was still wearing last night's clothes and felt awful. A hot shower would hopefully wash away the last twelve hours and help to make her feel semi-human again.</p><p>********</p><p>Sylvie towel dried her hair, changed into fresh pyjamas and headed through to her kitchen. Slumping in one of the chairs with a piece of dry toast, she looked over to the couch by the window and couldn't help herself replaying her conversation with Matt from two weeks before.</p><p>"I've wanted this, for a really long time."</p><p>"Me too."</p><p>If only the conversation had ended there. Those two little words were everything she had wanted to hear. She'd been holding back her feelings for over a year and completely let down her guard, letting him know how she felt. When he returned her kiss and let her know he felt the same, she couldn't remember ever being happier. For it to be ripped away just moments later. </p><p>"I don't know." </p><p>Sylvie could feel her heart splintering at his answer. As she watched his face turn cold, almost arrogant, his eyes no longer bright and urgent as when they were kissing. Just a frozen, hard glare, figurative walls being built in front of her eyes, one after the other. The splinter morphed into a deep, bleeding, ragged crack. How was she ever going to recover from this. </p><p>Sylvie blinked back tears. She should never have kissed him unless she was sure. They had become so close, she confided in him and trusted him completely. He was always there for her when she needed him. He had gone through so much heartbreak in his life too that he didn't deserve. All she wanted was to love him, heal him. Matt had started to open up to her like she had to him, but they never got round to discussing his feelings for Gabby. How could she be so stupid. Of course he still loves her. How could she ever have thought for a second that she would be able to compete with their history. </p><p>Sylvie put her head in her hands and started to sob. Everything was such a mess.</p><p> </p><p>********</p><p>It was a short drive back to the loft and Stella was in the kitchen making coffee.</p><p>"Hey, I take it Brett made it through the night?" Stella grinned.</p><p>"Very funny, Kidd. She threw up this morning - will you give her a buzz in a bit and check she's alright."</p><p>"Or you can."</p><p>"She doesn't want to hear from me" Matt said as he threw himself in his chair, huffing loudly.</p><p>Stella set down the coffee pot with a deep sigh. "Ok. I said to myself after my slip last night that I wasn't going to get involved again but enough. What the hell are you doing, Casey?" Stella practically shouted.</p><p>Matt was taken aback. "What do you mean?" confusion written all over his face. </p><p>"You two are infuriating. I've seen the way you look at her. The way you've been there for her these last few months. Always checking in to make sure she's doing ok. Need I remind you of the time you launched yourself out of Truck 81 going forty miles an hour. You are so damn perfect for each other!" Stella threw her hands in the air in frustration. </p><p>Matt stayed silent so Stella continued. She was on a roll and there was no stopping her now. </p><p>"Sylvie told me what you said. That you didn't know who you would choose if Gabby came back. Do you really not know the answer to that question? REALLY CASEY?" Stella didn't <br/>give Matt a chance to respond before continuing, pacing backwards and forwards in front of him. </p><p>"I know you and Gabby went through a lot together and I know you loved her but it didn't work out. Casey, she broke your heart. REPEATEDLY. She divorced you by mail for God's sake. I loved Gabby too but the way she treated you wasn't right. You kept taking the blame for things that weren't your fault so she kept getting away with shit over and over. Yes she had her qualities but she was also a bulldozer, and being in a relationship with someone like that is exhausting. Believe me, I know. She put her needs first always and by the end you were nothing more than an afterthought, a sidekick to the Gabby show. She made all of these relationship altering decisions without even consulting you. That's not a healthy, equal partnership and you deserve better than that Matt. You're worth so much more." </p><p>Matt just blinked, speechless with his mouth hanging open in a comical 'oh'.</p><p>"Anyway, you think about that. I gotta run to a Girl's On Fire session. Sort your shit out, Casey. See ya later." Stella grabbed her to-go mug and left Matt to gawp.</p><p>********</p><p>A few hours later, Matt was lying on his bed thinking about a certain blond paramedic. Despite Stella's home truths, Matt already knew he was in love with Sylvie. He'd been <br/>having feelings for her for a long time now. </p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>But there was a reason he said what he said that night. If he had any chance of having a future with Sylvie, there was something he had to do first. </p><p>It was time to face his past....</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ok, so I'm really struggling trying to work out how the writers on CF are going to fix this. Personally, I can't see a resolution without bringing Gabby back in some way, shape or form so Matt can confront his past and move on. What do you think?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Cigar chat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Stella breaks the news to Sylvie the reason why Matt hasn't turned up for shift.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This wasn’t what I’d originally planned for chapter 3 but I'd read somewhere that on the show we were going to see a cigar chat with a 'twist'. I really hope this is the twist they are referring to...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hello." The word came out in a broken, barely audible croak.</p><p>"Wow, you sound healthy" Stella laughed sarcastically.</p><p>Sylvie cleared her throat and said as firmly as she could manage "Next time I march into Molly's demanding tequila shots, you say no. Got it?"</p><p>"Got it" Stella sniggered. "Are you least feeling any better than this morning? Casey said you threw up", her tone a little more sympathetic.</p><p>"A little, yeah. UGH! Why did it have to be him to come to my rescue" Sylvie groaned.</p><p>"Because he wanted to" Stella said simply. </p><p>There was silence on the end of the line so Stella continued "I called Kelly to come get you just so you know but it was Casey who insisted. I've never seen him so protective over anyone. That man really cares about you, you know."</p><p>"Still not helping, Stella." Any progress Sylvie had made in her attempt to get over Matt had been undone. If anything she loved him more. How was that even possible. </p><p>"My bad" Stella said unapologetically, echoing their previous conversation. "Anyway, I'm on my way to a Girl's On Fire session with Seager if you want to join us" Stella asked, changing the subject for her friend.</p><p>"I think I'm just gonna go back to bed, sign me up for the next one though."</p><p>"Ok girl, feel better soon and I'll see you on shift tomorrow."</p><p>"Bye Stel."</p><p>********</p><p>Sylvie walked into the firehouse and headed straight for the locker room. She kept her head down past the kitchen hoping not to bump into Matt. Her cheeks flushed just thinking his name, she was still so embarrassed. Sylvie dumped her things and headed back to the apparatus floor. She opened the back of the ambulance, climbed in and shut the door behind her, exhaling with relief.</p><p>You can do this, she chanted to herself. You're a professional and you're at work. For now he is Captain Casey, nothing more. You're PIC Brett, not a lovesick lightweight passed out on tequila. Sylvie took another deep breath and started doing inventory. </p><p>In the quiet of the back of the ambulance Sylvie's heart raced when someone rapped hard on the door.</p><p>Please be Kidd please be Kidd please be Kidd she prayed. Thank God.</p><p>"I've been looking all over for you, what are you doing locked in the ambo?" Stella asked.</p><p>"Avoiding someone", the word obviously evident from Sylvie's tone.</p><p>"There's no need, he's not here. I was trying to find you to tell you." </p><p>"Where is he, is he ok?"</p><p>"He's fine, I'll explain after. We're late for the morning meeting. Let's go." Sylvie looked at her watch and flinched, jumping out of the ambulance.</p><p>"Ladies, nice of you to join us" Boden said, hands on hips. </p><p>"Sorry chief" they said in unison, exchanging a small smirk with one another, taking their seats. Although she knew he wasn't there, Sylvie couldn't help but glance at Matt's usual spot on the back wall. She did say she wanted to avoid him. Be careful what you wish for.  </p><p>"Captain Casey has requested leave and he'll be back next shift. Covering for 81 today is Lieutenant Jonathan Carmichael", said Boden gesturing to the man standing to his right. </p><p>"Thanks Chief. Johnny's fine and it's nice to meet you all. I've heard great thi-".</p><p>TRUCK 81. SQUAD 3. AMBULANCE 61. HOUSE FIRE....</p><p>There was a screeching of chairs as everyone made their way to the door of the meeting room. </p><p>"Where's Matt, Stella" Sylvie whispered as she walked quickly beside her friend over the apparatus floor. He had told her he'd see her next shift and it wasn't like Matt not to keep his word. Sylvie had a feeling it wasn't going to be anything good and needed to know.</p><p>"Ok look" Stella whispered back. "I only found out just before shift. He's catching a flight to Puerto Rico this afternoon." </p><p>Sylvie's face blanched and her stomach started to churn. Stella took her hand to keep them moving. "Hey, it's not what you think, ok. You need to trust me when I say that it's a good thing. It's about time that he dealt with his past. Come on, we've got a job to do. Try not to worry about it."</p><p>Stella gave Sylvie's hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go to make their way to their respective rigs. Sylvie tried not to worry about it and failed miserably. She had pushed Matt back into Gabby's arms once before. She couldn't help but wonder with a sad sigh if she'd gone and done it again.</p><p>********</p><p>After dropping a victim at Med from their first call, Sylvie and Gianna got another two calls back to back. Sylvie was dying to get back to 51 to speak to Stella. </p><p>"Brett. Hey Brett?"</p><p>"What, sorry did you say something?"</p><p>"You ok? You were miles away."</p><p>"Yeah I'm good, sorry. Just thinking about lunch. I'm starving." </p><p>Mackey wasn't convinced but didn't want to push her partner. "How about I make us some sandwiches?"</p><p>"I love your sandwiches" Sylvie turned to Gianna and smiled genuinely. "That would be great, thanks Mackey."</p><p>As Sylvie approached 51, her smile faded. 81 must have been called out.</p><p>Getting out of the rig, Sylvie jumped as Severide appeared out of thin air at the driver's side. </p><p>"Hey Brett, got a few minutes?" Severide grinned.</p><p>"Suuuure, what for?" Sylvie wondered, it wasn't often they had one-on-ones.</p><p>"I'll get started on the sandwiches" Mackey called from the passenger side and headed into the firehouse.</p><p>"Come with me." Severide pulled her into a loose headlock and guided her to the bench outside. </p><p>"81 got called out just before you came back and Stella's worried you're in panic mode." He was still grinning at Sylvie as they both sat down. She found herself smiling back at him. Panic was putting it lightly but Severide's childish grin was infectious.</p><p>He reached in his pocket and pulled out two cigars and a lighter. As he started to unwrap them, Sylvie interrupted "Em - I hope one of them's not for me."</p><p>"Of course it is. That's the rules, Brett. I don't smoke alone."</p><p>Sylvie let out a small laugh. What the hell. She needed answers. Severide lit hers for her and passed it over waiting expectantly. He watched with a shit-eating grin as Sylvie took a long draw....and then choked. Sylvie continued to cough and Severide let out a barking laugh.</p><p> "Real smooth there, Brett", Severide chuckled while patting her gently on the back.</p><p>"Ugh. You and Casey smoke these things for fun?" Sylvie screwed up her face as she took another shorter puff this time, managing to exhale without spluttering. </p><p>"Speaking of Casey" Severide said, lighting his own cigar and waiting for Sylvie to look at him.</p><p>"Speaking of Casey" Sylvie repeated, turning to face him.</p><p>"Stella said she told you he'd gone to see Dawson. He needs to see her to get closure, Brett, that's all. If he's ever going to move on."</p><p>Sylvie sighed and looked away, down at the ground. </p><p>Severide continued "he told me what happened with you two. Up until his feelings for you snuck up on him, he's never had a reason to think about a future with anyone else." </p><p>Did Matt really consider a future with her. Sylvie forced the thought out of her head. </p><p>"Look, a lot of things that happened with Dawson weren't Casey's choice. You know she hurt him, bad. We both had a front row seat for that."</p><p>"I remember" Sylvie said, still staring firmly at the ground. </p><p>"It's his choice now to confront it, move on and close that chapter of his life for good."</p><p>"Or he sees her and jumps into bed with her again like last time and realises that she's the one he really wants to be with" Sylvie blurted out. </p><p>"I can't compete with their history, Severide" Sylvie said defeated, her insecurities bubbling to the surface. </p><p>"You're right you can't", he replied. Sylvie nodded in agreement, her shoulders sagging. "Unless..." Severide bowed his head to look her in the eyes "you and him give each other a chance to make your own history."</p><p>Sylvie couldn't allow herself to hope that that was a possibility. In a few hours time he was going to be face to face with his love. She couldn't help feeling anything but heartbreak and sadness at the thought.</p><p>As if reading her mind, Severide said "you need to have a little faith in him, Brett."</p><p> </p><p>********</p><p>Matt followed his fellow passengers through the airport and headed out the arrivals gate. All he saw was a quick flash of brown hair as arms flew around his neck. "I can't believe you're here!" she squealed into his ear.</p><p>"Hi Gabby..."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hands up who wants to see Sylvie attempt to smoke a cigar (me! me!) lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Letting go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Matt tells Gabby how he feels about Sylvie.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have a few choice words I'd like to say to Gabby myself but unfortunately in this chapter it wasn't me having the conversation with her. <br/>More notes at the end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's so good see you" Gabby breathed. </p><p>"It's nice to see you, too", Matt said genuinely.</p><p>"It's been what, six months?" Gabby pulled back to look at him, her hands on his shoulders with a glint of mischief in her eyes. When Matt didn't respond Gabby continued "the car's not far, let's get out of he- wait, where's your case?" searching around him in confusion. Matt only had a small backpack over his shoulder that looked half empty.</p><p>"I don't have one. I'm not staying long" Matt explained. </p><p>"How long is long?"</p><p>"My return flight is in a few hours time."</p><p>"You flew all the way here for just a few hours? What's going on, Matt? Has something happened? Is everyone at 51 alright?" </p><p>"Everyone's ok. It's nothing like that" Matt reassured her. "I just needed to talk to you about something and I wanted to do it in person." The arrivals hall started to fill with passengers sweeping past them, the sound of chattering and cases trundling by.</p><p>"Come on, let's go to your car to talk in private", Matt nodded toward the exit. </p><p>Gabby's car was only a couple of minutes walk away in one of the airport car parks. They got in and closed the doors behind them. Matt took a deep breath but before he could <br/>start to explain, Gabby guessed solemnly "have you met someone?"</p><p>"Yes." Matt wasn't ashamed of how he felt and so didn't prolong in telling her. "Gabby, it's Sylvie" Matt said, preparing himself for the outburst he knew was coming. </p><p>"AS IN BRETT?! MY BEST FRIEND SYLVIE BRETT?! WHAT THE HELL?!" Gabby screamed.</p><p>Matt started to apologise, old habits returning whenever he and Gabby fought. "I'm sor- actually no! I'm not going to apologise for how I feel."</p><p>"YOU THINK IT'S OK TO BE WITH MY BEST FRIEND?!"</p><p>"BEST friend? Come on!" Matt scoffed. "When was the last time you even spoke to her?" When Gabby didn't answer, Matt prompted "WELL?"</p><p>"When I was last in Chicago OK" Gabby said, her voice still raised, but not as loud as before.</p><p>"And before that?!" </p><p>"About a year" she said sound sounding sheepish, her voice quieter still.</p><p>"Sylvie tried to keep in touch with you after you left and you ignored her. You ignored everyone at 51."</p><p>"I needed a fresh start, ok. I just needed a break" Gabby said, on the defensive.</p><p>"You needed a break from me. You didn't have to forget about everyone else. You have no idea what she's been through the last few months because you're not best friends <br/>anymore."</p><p>"CLEARLY! How long have you even been together, huh?" Gabby said, changing the subject and to divert the heat from her. "It wasn't that long ago you were in bed with me" her voice laced with arrogance and defiance.</p><p>Matt half laughed, half sighed. "We're not together." A brief look of confusion flashed over Gabby's face replacing the anger. "We've kissed once but I messed up when I tried to tell her how I felt and now she's avoiding me. The truth is, I hadn't felt that happy in a really long time."</p><p>"Why are you even bothering to tell me this? So you flew all this way for what? To get my blessing? Dream on" Gabby scoffed.</p><p>"I felt like I owed it to you to tell you in person after all we've been through. And after what happened between us last time we saw each other, I also owed it to myself and to Sylvie to leave the past where it belongs. I'm hoping that I'm still able to fix things with Sylvie because I miss her like hell - and I miss the way that I am when I'm around her. She brings out a side of me I didn't know I had. I feel like I can finally be myself around her." </p><p>"And what? you couldn't be yourself around me?" Gabby huffed.</p><p>"Most of the time but not all of it" Matt answered honestly. You made me feel like everything that went wrong between us was my fault. You let me blame myself over and over. But I was so in love with you that I just accepted it or kept quiet to avoid a fight." Stella's words were echoing in Matt's head. "We were supposed to be partners but you never let me be there for you, you were always pushing me away." </p><p>"So now having independence is a bad thing." Gabby rolled her eyes. </p><p>"Stop manipulating my words. You always do that. God!" Matt rubbed his forehead in frustration. "It's been so refreshing the last couple of years being able to actually say what I feel without being misunderstood or provoked into a fight. You were always making decisions that affect me without me. Of course there's nothing wrong with being independent but there's a difference between that and shutting somebody out completely!  Sylvie - "</p><p>"Oh let me guess, Sylvie lets you in", Gabby said, a bitter edge to her voice.</p><p>"You say it like it's a bad thing. Yes she does. And vice versa. She's been an incredible friend to me these last two years. She builds me up and gives me encouragement when I doubt myself. She listens to me without any judgment or criticism. She's always there to support me when I need it."</p><p>"Well isn't she just perfect" Gabby mocked under her breath.</p><p>"She was almost killed a couple of weeks ag-" Matt stopped short, his voice breaking on the last word. It still pained him whenever he visioned himself seeing 61 from the overpass, lying crumpled on its side on the ground below. Not knowing if Sylvie had survived.</p><p>Gabby turned to face Matt, her features softening slightly. Matt was leaning back against the head rest, his eyes squeezed shut and his face full of anguish. Gabby wondered what he was seeing. Matt cleared his throat and continued. "I thought she was dead." He rushed those last five words, scared of speaking them aloud at a normal pace. "That's when it hit me just how much she means to me." Matt opened his eyes and turned to look at Gabby.</p><p>"After Hallie died, I was crushed. Then you came along and somehow pulled me through. Then when you left me to stay here, I was devastated. I was sure that this time around there was no getting over you. I didn't think I could feel that way about anyone ever again. Until now." Matt exhaled slowly.</p><p>"I'd never deliberately hurt you Gabby but I'm not asking for your permission either. I didn't plan to fall for Sylvie, it just happened." </p><p>"Do you love her?" Gabby's expression was unreadable.</p><p>"Yes" Matt responded without any hesitation.  </p><p>Gabby turned away from him and stared out the window, blinking back tears. </p><p>"I want you to know that I'll always be thankful that you were a part of my life." When Gabby didn't respond Matt put his hand on the car door handle to leave.</p><p>"Goodbye Gabby." </p><p>"I asked you never to say goodbye to me" Gabby said turning to face him, her voice breaking. </p><p>Matt pulled his hand away from the door, closed the distance between them and enveloped her in a hug.</p><p>"It's time" he said softly, squeezing her tighter. Matt continued to hold her as she sobbed quietly into his jacket. </p><p>"I'll always care about you but we both need to move on now, for good. You know we do." Gabby didn't speak, but Matt could feel her nodding her head against his shoulder. </p><p>"I want you to be happy, Gabby."</p><p>They sat this way for a long time, just holding each other without saying a word. After Gabby's sobs had subsided, Matt extracted himself gently.</p><p>Gabby swept away the tears that had pooled on her cheek. "Sylvie's who you want to be with." It came out as more of a statement than a question.</p><p>Matt couldn't help but smile at the thought of her. "If she'll have me."</p><p>Gabby sighed. When she turned to face Matt, there was a look of sincerity in her eyes. "Then go get her." </p><p>Matt gave Gabby one last smile and got out of the car. Walking back to the airport, he felt lighter than he had in years. All of the chains tethering his heart to the past breaking free and left in a pile on the dusty road behind him. </p><p> </p><p>********</p><p>Sylvie was sitting at her kitchen table thinking about Matt, her sandwich in front of her untouched. She jumped at the sound of someone knocking impatiently at her <br/>door....</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This ended up a lot milder than some of the original drafts because I had to remember that Matt Casey is a better person than most. If you've continued to read this story to this point, thank you for sticking with it and I hope this chapter didn't disappoint.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Matt's back from Puerto Rico and can't wait to get to Sylvie.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just wanted to say a thank you to everyone for their stories on here, they're keeping me going while the show puts us through all the emotions lol.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matt was practically running to get to apartment 4B. Given what Stella had divulged and thanks to her encouragement, he was hoping that he hadn't lost his chance with Sylvie for good. Without hesitation, he rapped his knuckles hard and fast on her door. </p><p>"Matt?" Sylvie questioned as she opened the door, looking like she'd seen a ghost. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd gone to Puerto Rico?" </p><p>"I did, and now I'm back" Matt explained.</p><p>Sylvie looked at her watch. "How long were you there for, like an hour?"</p><p>"Close enough", Matt laughed. </p><p>"I would have got round here sooner but I had a couple of things I needed to pick up first. Please can I come in?" </p><p>Sylvie hesitated for a moment but then stepped sideways opening the door wider to let him past. Matt turned to face her and awkwardly side shuffled in to the apartment. Sylvie looked confused until he pulled a bouquet of daisies from behind his back that he was concealing. </p><p>"These are for you."</p><p>"Oh - thank you" Sylvie said a little shocked, tipping the bouquet to smell the fresh white and yellow flowers. "I love daisies."</p><p>"I know." Matt tried to sound nonchalant but there was a hint of pride in his voice.</p><p>"How do you know?" Sylvie was confused. </p><p>"Because you told me." </p><p>Sylvie furrowed her brow, not remembering this conversation at all.  </p><p>"About four months ago, we were at a call where a guy had gone through the floor of his attic and his legs were dangling through the ceiling below. Meanwhile you were outside drooling over his garden", Matt laughed. </p><p>Recognition flashed over Sylvie's face. "I remember th- hey! I was not drooling!" </p><p>"Please. There was an actual puddle at your feet", Matt teased, a genuine smile on his face that their friendly banter had returned. </p><p>It had been a while. </p><p>Sylvie slapped him playfully on the arm. "Shut up. There were sooo many flowers, it was like my dream garden" Sylvie gushed.</p><p>"In one corner huge daisies were growing and you said they were your favourite."</p><p>"I can't believe you remember that", Sylvie said, shaking her head. </p><p>"I remember everything, Sylvie", the mood shifting instantly from playful to intense. </p><p>Sylvie opened her mouth to speak. </p><p>"No, please Sylvie. I need to explain. I'm so sorry about everything. When you asked me that question that night, I was caught off guard. I didn't know what to say because I'd <br/>never had a reason until now to face what happened with Gabby and to want to put it behind me. I can't pretend my relationship with Gabby never happened-"</p><p>"Of course you can't" Sylvie interrupted. "I understand that Matt and I would never ask you to do that." Of course Sylvie understands, Matt thought. She always tries to understand how he feels. </p><p>Sylvie carried on, needing to explain or vent or just release what she'd been holding in since that night. </p><p>"I knew how I felt about you, there was no-one else for me. But I couldn't let things go any further between us if I was just going to be some sort of back up plan because you couldn't be with who you really wanted. You said you had feelings for me but I couldn't let myself be with you, worrying every day that you'd leave me if she ever came back and realised just how big of a mistake it was letting you go. I wanted you to choose me, Matt." </p><p>"I do choose you, Sylvie. I hate that's how I've made you feel and I'm so sorry for hurting you. That's why I went to Puerto Rico, to prove to you that Gabby is in the past. I told her how I felt about you and that it was time we both moved on for good."</p><p>Matt could read the question written on Sylvie's face. "She was angry at first but by the time I was leaving she was telling me to come and get you because you're the one that makes me happy, Sylvie."</p><p>"I know what I want and it's you, please believe me" Matt begged.</p><p>Sylvie bowed her head and started shaking it, this is all she wanted to hear but a part of her still couldn't help but doubt that he meant it. Matt took her hands in his but she couldn't bring herself to look in his eyes. </p><p>"We've been friends for a long time but these these last two years getting closer to you have meant the absolute world to me. You trusted me with your secrets and let me be there for you. You bust my balls on calls if I get a little carried away but you're always there to check I'm alright. You are the sweetest, kindest person I have ever met. When I'm struggling, I know I can always count on you to be a voice of reason and support. Before I run into a burning building, I always search for you because yours is the last face I want to see. I love who I am when I'm with you, you make me a better man, Sylvie."</p><p>Sylvie tried to speak but couldn't, her eyes were brimming with tears. </p><p>"Sylvie, these last two weeks without you have been torture. Can you look at me please?" Matt squeezed her hands gently. Sylvie looked up and her shining sapphire eyes collided with his ocean blue ones. </p><p>"I'm in love with you, Sylvie." The brightness of the night they kissed had returned to Matt's eyes and his expression was nothing but hopeful and full of love. </p><p>"You said we couldn't go back to the way things were and pretend nothing happened - I don't want to go back to being just your friend. I want you, Sylvie. In every way."</p><p>At his words, Sylvie took a step closer to him, their faces a mere inch apart. The air started to crackle between them. </p><p>"Kiss me, Matt. Now" Sylvie asked, finding her voice. Matt didn't need asked twice. He closed what little distance there was between them and pressed his lips to hers. If they thought their first kiss was passionate, it was nothing compared to this. Matt's body pressed flush against Sylvie's but she threw her arms round his neck pulling him impossibly<br/>closer. Matt's hands felt their way down her lower back to her ass, then moved to grip her hips, desperate to touch every part of her. Feelings laid bare, neither of them held back as they made their way to the bedroom, continuing the assault on each other's lips....</p><p>********</p><p>"We're doing that again" Sylvie said, her breathing only just returning to normal. </p><p>"Definitely" Matt chuckled. "But before we do - remember a little while ago when you were ripping my clothes off? Where did my jacket end up?" Matt and Sylvie both eyed the trail of discarded clothes leading out the bedroom door and giggled. She loved playful Matt.</p><p>"Em...I think I launched it in the kitchen somewhere."</p><p>"Back in a sec." Matt gave her a quick kiss, pulled back the covers and disappeared out the bedroom door. Sylvie couldn't tear her eyes away from him as he left. </p><p>Matt Casey naked...wow.</p><p>He reappeared holding his jacket in one hand and fishing in the inside pocket with his other. "There's really a lot of lemons in your kitchen" Matt mused.</p><p>Sylvie chuckled as Matt pulled out a small rectangular box, dropped his jacket on the floor and climbed back under the covers beside her.</p><p>"For you" he said offering it to Sylvie.</p><p>Sylvie opened the box and inside was a beautiful little gold bubbled heart necklace.</p><p>"Matt, I love it" she breathed.</p><p>"Turn it over."</p><p>On the back of the heart was a delicately engraved 'M'. Sylvie let out a small gasp as Matt gently took the box from her and removed the necklace. Sylvie turned her back to him and lifted her hair out of the way as he wrapped it round her neck.</p><p>Matt fastened the clasp and placed a kiss on Sylvie's shoulder. "My heart belongs to you" he murmured.</p><p>Sylvie turned to face him with the biggest smile, tears pooling in her eyes. "Have I told you I love you Matt Casey?"</p><p>"You have now" Matt grinned as he lay back down, pulling her on top of him, holding her tight. </p><p>He finally had the world back in his arms.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for the cheese, I needed this for me after 9x04 haha.</p><p>Thank you again to all who took the time to read, comment and leave kudos. What a nice place this is to be :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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